Chapter 9 - Friends, Lovers, and Families

Chapter 9 ~

Friends, Lovers, and Families 

Friendship

- is an interpersonal relationship ( involve 2 parties)

- mutually productive (gain something from the relationship)

Friendship Types

1. The Friendship of Reciprocity

- both parties share, receive and give

- based on trust and mutual affection and reflects loyalty and selflessness

Example : Best friends throughout childhood, school, college / university, work.

2. The Friendship of Receptivity

- one party clearly provides more for the other

Example : Professional relationships - bosses & employees, doctors & patients.

3. The Friendship of Association

- friendships are formed based on the several "convenient" factors - proximity, location & peer groups

Example : Classmates, university mates, neighbours, office colleagues.

Why do we seek out friends & close relationships??

1. Utility purposes

- we need people with different and varied skills, resources and talents around us

Example : People to fix your computer.

2. Affirmation

- help you to recognize your attributes

3. Ego Support

- someone who bahave in supportive & encouraging

4. Stimulation

- someone who can inspire us and give us fresh ideas

5. Security

- we need people who can trust & wouldn't betray you

Development Stages of Friendship

1. Initial Contact & Acquaintanceship

- impression are formed

2. Casual Friendship

- a sense of togetherness takes place

3. Close & Intimate Friendship

- most intimate form of togetherness

The value of friendship can be affected by : 

1. Culture

- different cultures would bring about different meaning to friendships & relationships

a. Collectivist Society

b. Individualist Society

c. High Ambiguity

d. Low Ambiguity

2. Gender Differences

- men are more keen to develop more acquaintances, but not true friend

- women are more able to keep and maintain close friends around them, but tends to get jealous more

3. Technology

- the meaning of friendships has been diluted by the improvement and usage of technology in our lives.

Romantic Relationship

1. Eros

- passionate love

Example : obsess that person badly, scare to lose your partner

2. Ludus

- game playing love

Example : playboy and playgirl

3. Storge

- affectionate & close but not exciting

Example : old people love

4. Pragma

- Practical approach to love

5. Mania

- love is sharp ( painful obsession)

6.Agape

- unconditional love

Example : love of parents towards their children

Families

Types of Family : 

1. Traditional couples

- conventional form of a family

2. Independent couples

- stresses individuality as the main theme in family

3. Separate couples

- not really a family but stay together

Family & Communication

1. Equility

- family members seek equal love, understanding with others

2. Balanced split

- each members have balanced amount of responsibilities

3. Unbalanced split

- responsibilities of family members are not equal

4. Monopoly

- one person is the authority