Chapter 9 ~
Friends, Lovers, and Families
Friendship
- is an interpersonal relationship ( involve 2 parties)
- mutually productive (gain something from the relationship)
Friendship Types
1. The Friendship of Reciprocity- both parties share, receive and give
- based on trust and mutual affection and reflects loyalty and selflessness
Example : Best friends throughout childhood, school, college / university, work.
2. The Friendship of Receptivity
- one party clearly provides more for the other
Example : Professional relationships - bosses & employees, doctors & patients.
3. The Friendship of Association
- friendships are formed based on the several "convenient" factors - proximity, location & peer groups
Example : Classmates, university mates, neighbours, office colleagues.
Why do we seek out friends & close relationships??
1. Utility purposes
- we need people with different and varied skills, resources and talents around us
Example : People to fix your computer.
2. Affirmation
- help you to recognize your attributes
3. Ego Support
- someone who bahave in supportive & encouraging
4. Stimulation
- someone who can inspire us and give us fresh ideas
5. Security
- we need people who can trust & wouldn't betray you
Development Stages of Friendship
1. Initial Contact & Acquaintanceship
- impression are formed
2. Casual Friendship
- a sense of togetherness takes place
3. Close & Intimate Friendship
- most intimate form of togetherness
The value of friendship can be affected by :
1. Culture
- different cultures would bring about different meaning to friendships & relationships
a. Collectivist Society
b. Individualist Society
c. High Ambiguity
d. Low Ambiguity
2. Gender Differences
- men are more keen to develop more acquaintances, but not true friend
- women are more able to keep and maintain close friends around them, but tends to get jealous more
3. Technology
- the meaning of friendships has been diluted by the improvement and usage of technology in our lives.
Romantic Relationship
1. Eros
- passionate love
Example : obsess that person badly, scare to lose your partner
2. Ludus
- game playing love
Example : playboy and playgirl
3. Storge
- affectionate & close but not exciting
Example : old people love
4. Pragma
- Practical approach to love
5. Mania
- love is sharp ( painful obsession)
6.Agape
- unconditional love
Example : love of parents towards their children
Families
Types of Family :
1. Traditional couples
- conventional form of a family
2. Independent couples
- stresses individuality as the main theme in family
3. Separate couples
- not really a family but stay together
Family & Communication
1. Equility
- family members seek equal love, understanding with others
2. Balanced split
- each members have balanced amount of responsibilities
3. Unbalanced split
- responsibilities of family members are not equal
4. Monopoly
- one person is the authority
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