Chapter 8 - Interpersonal Communication

Chapter 8 - Interpersonal Communication

Relationship Stages :

Contact

1. Perceptual Contact

- human senses (sight, smell, taste, hear, touch)

Example : You see what the person looks like, you hear what the person sounds like, you smell the person.

2. Interactional Contact

- exchange basic information

Example : Hello, my name is Anderson.

- nonverbal

Example : Exchanging smiles

Involvement

- experiment and try to learn more about the other person

- share your feelings and your emotions

Intimacy

A feeling that you can be honest and open when talking about yourself, that you can express thoughts and feelings you wouldn't reveal in other relationships.

1. Interpersonal commitment phase

- you commit yourselves to each other ina kind of private way

2. Social bonding phase

- the commitment is made public

Deterioration

Weakening of bonds between both parties ( the downside of the relationship progression)

Repair

1. Intrapersonal repair

- change your behaviors or expectations of your partner

2. Interpersonal repair

- talk and discuss about the problems

Dissolution

- cutting of the bonds tying you together

1. Intrapersonal separation

- You may not see each other anymore or may not return messages

Example : Move into separate houses

2. Social or public separation

- Avoidance of each other and a return to being "single"

Example : Divorce

Relationship Theories

 1. Attraction Theory

a. Similarity

- Attracted to people with similar taste, beliefs, and ideas with you

Example : Your mate act like you.

b. Proximity

- Attracted to people close to you in terms of location

Example : Your best friend is the one who sit around you in the class.

c. Reinforcement

- Attracted to people who give rewards or reinforcements

Example : You increase your liking towards a friend when she buy you an expensive present.

d. Physical attractiveness and personality

- Attracted to physical and mental attributes, inner and outer beauty.

Example : You like to make friend with good-looking people.

2. Relationship Rules Theory

a. Friendship Rules

- friendships are maintained by rules

- when these rules are followed, the friendship is strong and mutually satisfying

b. Romantic Rules

- more towards lovers and couples

c. Family Rules

- tell you which behaviours will be rewarded and which will be punished

d. Workplace Rules

- part of the corporate culture that an employee would learn from observing other employees as well as from official memos on dress, sexual harassment, and the like

3. Relationship Dialectics Theory

- people in relationship experience dynamic tensions between pairs of opposing motives and desires

a. The tension between closeness and openness 

- conflict between the desire to be in a closed, exclusive relationship and wish to be in a relationship that is open to different people

b. The tension between autonomy and connection

- desire to remain an autonomous, independent individual and the wish to connect intimately to another person and to a relationship

c. The tension between novelty and predictability

- the competing desires for newness, different experiences and adventure on the one hand and for someness, stability and predictability on the other

4. Social Penetration Theory

- describes relationship in term of the number of topics that people talk about and their degree of "personalness"

Breath - The number of topic you and your partner about

Depth - The degree to which you penetrate the inner personality- the core- of the other individual

5. Social Exchange Theory

- You develop relationships that will enable you to maximize your profits

• Rewards
• Costs
• Profit

Example : You want rewards from your partner in a relationship.

6. Equity Theory

- The idea of social exchange, but goes a step further and claims that you develop and maintain relationship in which the ratio of your rewards relative to your costs is approximately equal to your partner's

The Dark Side of Interpersonal Relationships

1. Jealousy

- feel envy

a. Cognitive Jealousy

- involve suspicious thinking, worrying or imagining the different scenarios in which your partner may be interested in another person

Example : Your boyfriend didn't message you last week which does not happen often. He said he is busy but you don't believe him.

b. Emotional Jealousy

- involve the feelings you have when you see your partner, say, laughing, or talking with a rival, or kissing.

Example : Your boyfriend being too close with another girl and you got angry with it.

c. Behavioral Jealousy

- what you do to the jealous feelings and emotions

Example : You read your lover's emails or messages.

2. Relationship Violence

a. Physical abuse

Example : slapping, kicking, hitting your partner

b. Verbal or emotional abuse

Example : Criticize your partner with bad words

c. Sexual abuse

Example : Forced sex