Chapter 3: Listening

CHAPTER 3 ~ LISTENING

Listening => Something you want to focus and get everything a person tells and relate it to the experience       you had

 Hearing => Just receive or hear the sound

THE FIVE STAGES OF LISTENING:

1  1.      Receiving

·     Paying attention and receive the messages from the speaker

Ø  Verbally

Ø  Nonverbally

2  2.      Understanding

·     Know the point from the speaker’s messages

3  3.      Remembering

·     Recall the messages received and understood them for some period of time

4  4.      Evaluating

·     Allows the listener to form an opinion of what she heard

5  5.      Responding

·     To determine if the message is being understood or considered by giving BACKCHANNELING CUES ( For example: “Ohh”, “I see”)

LISTENING & CULTURE

Diversity of listening & culture:

1.      Language and speech

·     Everyone has their own ways of speech with different native languages

2.      Non-verbal behavioral differences

·     Speaker from different cultures have their own behaviors when talking to others

LISTEN = VERBAL + NONVERBAL

3.      Direct and indirect styles

·     Direct style=> Talk in a straight way which may hurt people

Example: You are so ugly with green color shirt.

·     Indirect style => Use an indirect way of speech and try not to hurt others’ feeling

Example: You are so beautiful with this shirt but it would be better if you wear the yellow color one.

4.      Balance of story versus evidence

·     Balance of story => In some cultures, people easily influenced by your WORD if you can convince them

·     Evidence => In some cultures, when someone want to know about anything, they want to know from a credible source which can provide them the EVIDENCE

5.      Credibility

·     People’s views on speaker’s credibility will be different from one culture to another

6.      Feedback

·     Some culture of people give the feedback in a direct way

·     However, some culture of people will give a positive feedback in order not to hurt people

LISTENING EFFECTIVELY

1.      Participatory and passive listening

·     Participatory listening => Your mind and physical participate when listening

·     Passive listening => Speaker feels that you accept what he said

2.      Emphatic & objective listening

·     When we listen to something, we not just listen but we try to understand and feel the feeling the speaker trying to tell

EMPHATY = understand what a person MEANS + FEELINGS

3.      Nonjudgmental &critical listening

·     When we listening to someone, we must be nonjudgmental by giving the responses after evaluation

Example: If a drug abuser seeking for help, we must be nonjudgmental and try to understand his/ her feeling and then evaluate or judge the message.

4.      Surface & depth listening

·     Differentiate the literal and depth meaning of the communication

Example: How does he look like?

Surface listening :   Erm, good.

Depth listening :     Well, I think he is good looking especially with this hairstyle.