Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION

Interpersonal  cummunication-

• exchange of information between two or more people
• there is message sending and message receiving

The Conversation Process

1.    opening
2.    feedforward
3.    business
4.    Feedback
5.    Closing

Example:

 Ella  :"Hello, James. Do you have a breakfast?"

James :'' I had a breakfast ."

Ella :'' I have have a bad new to tell you , our group assignment got a low mark.''

James :'' Yes , I know already .Now we just can try our best in final exam .''

Ella: '' Sure .''

Principles of Turn-Taking

-concerned with how interactants take turns speaking and how who speaks when is determined

Principles of Dialogue

-that is a freely-flowing group conversation in which participants attempt to reach a common understanding, experiencing everyone's point of view fully, equally and nonjudgementally.

Example : Two lady talking about how wear can be look fashion.

Principles of Immediacy and Flexibility

-The creation of closeness, a sense of togetherness, of oneness between speaker and listener

-Can make people more attractive to others

-Can be verbal or nonverbal

Small Talk

-Preliminary talk

-Helps ease into a major topic (“big talk”)

-Can be a politeness strategy

-Stress similarities rather than differences

-Some relationships are based entirely on small talk

Apologies

An expression of wrong-doing or regret for having done something or for something that has

happened.

lAdmit wrong-doing

lBe apologetic

lEmpathize

lAvoid excuses

lGive assurances it will not happen again

Compliments

A message of praise, flattery, or congratulations

-Be real and honest

-Compliment in moderation

-Be totally complimentary; avoid qualifying compliments

-Be specific and personal

Relationship Stages & Theories

-Theories of relationship development try to explain how partnerships change over time. Such

theories highlight the dynamic process of evolution across the life span of relationships.

Chapter 6 (b) non verbal communication

Spatial Massage

Proxemic distances means the physical distance that describe the relation between people and the type of communication they use.

type of proxemic distance:

• intimate: physical contact from 0 to 18 inches ( comforting and protecting one another )
• personal: physical contact from 18 inches to 4 feet also known as the " protective bubble". it is conducted during interpersonal interactions.
• social: physical contact ranging from 4 to 12 feet. conducted during interaction between social gathering group. the more distance maintained the more formal the relationship is.
• public: distance ranging from 12 to more than 25 feet. distance used in public mostly for self defense purpose.

Territoriality is the possession towards a particular / object

• primary: personal areas with places like a persons own room, desk and car
• secondary: areas that don't really belong to you but you make it as your own. ( regular seat in class, cafeteria)
• public: open area which everyone can use like shopping malls, public toilet.

types of markers that is used to mark territory

1. central: a certain item placed to reserved a certain area like books, bag, and coat.
2. boundary: separation of areas by setting boundaries between space like armrest in cinemas.
3. ear: area that is identify by possession of a person like trademarks and name plates

Artifactual communication

Artifactual communication means massage that are man-made

• color communication: evidence shows that color may influence mentally on our perception or behaviors.
  

• Clothing and body adornment: the way people make inference about you by the way you dress,  style of your hair, and your body piercings/ tattoos.
  

a person with tattoo may be label as a gangster even when he/she is not

• space decoration: people make inference about you based on the decoration you made to your private space.
  

you may know immediately that the person who owns that room like everything to do with outerspace

Smell communication

• Attraction massages: odors or smell that is used to enhance a person attractiveness ( perfume,lotion)
• Taste: a sense that compliments smell 
• Memory: Olfactory cues that are used to trigger memory/ experience from the past
• Identification massages: odors that is used to differentiate certain product. 

Touch communication 

communication through touch and is the most primitive form of nonverbal communication A.k.a Haptics ( develops before our other senses )

touch conveys ( positive emotion,playfulness, control, ritual, task-relatedness) 

Paralanguage

 paralanguage means the nonverbal vocal dimension of speech like volume used, pitch, rate, and accent.

a woman shouting while communication often means that shes angry

Silence

silence can be used as a type of communication and it has the same intensity as verbal communication

uses of silence:

1. allowing time to think before speaking
2. can be use to hurt others " silent treatment"
3. responds to threats like shyness
4. prevent communicating uncomfortable topics
5. emotional response like annoyance

Time Communication ( Chronemics)

it is how a person treat/ use hes/her time

• it is an importance element for the past, present, and future.
• past oriented people tend to do things the old fashion way
• present oriented people tend to live without planning and just go with the flow
• future oriented people tend to always plan ahead and look forward to future happenings

Culture and nonverbal communication

different culture have different meanings on a certain nonverbal cues

this OK sign may directly mean okay in most of the countries but in Brazil and Argentina it means 'asshole'

culture and facial expressions

 american woman tend to smile more openly

woman in Asia tend to cover their mouth when they laugh because it is considered inappropriate to laugh broadly

Culture and colors

Thailand: Mourning, widows
Eastern: Wealth
Western: Royalty
Astrology: Gemini, Sagittarius, and Pisces
Feng Shui: Yin, spiritual awareness, physical and mental healing
Stained Glass (Dante): Justice, royalty, suffering and mystery. With white it stands for humility and purity.

Korea: Trust

Eastern: Marriage
Western: Love, babies, especially female babies, Valentine’s Day
Feng Shui: Yin, love
Psychology: Used in diet therapy as an appetite suppressant, relaxes muscles, soothing
Roses: Gratitude and appreciation (deep pink) or admiration and sympathy (light pink)

Culture and eye communication

• most western are open to eye communication in fact it shows the confidence a person has.
• people in Asia are not as open to eye communication and rarely have eye contact with a stranger.

Culture and touch

• countries in Europe and the middle east are contact culture
• Asia countries are less open to contact culture practice and can lead to misunderstanding when using it with a stranger.

Culture paralanguage and silence

different culture view silence in a different ways

( silence in the U.S. is view as a negative action)

Chapter 6 (A) Nonverbal Communication

CHAPTER 6 NON – VERBAL COMMUNICATION

·         Behavior and components of speech from words

·     Includes tone, speed, volume of voice, gestures, and facial expressions

·     Examples of non – verbal communication : -

THE FUNCTIONS OF NON – VERBAL MESSAGES

Six functions are : -

1)      Integrating Non – verbal and Verbal Messages

2)      Forming and Managing Impressions

3)      Defining Relationships

4)      Structuring Conversation

5)      Influencing and Deceiving

6)      Expressing Emotions

1)      Integrating Non – verbal and Verbal Messages

There are six functions of non – verbal communication : -

 ·         Substitute ( using a nonverbal action as a replacement for speaking )

For example :

 

Instead of saying “Hi” / “Bye”, you might just wave a hand to someone.

·         Contradict ( using nonverbal messages to gainsay the verbal messages )

For example :

You are yelling, but you said that “I am not upset”

·         Regulate (the turn talking signs during talk)

For example :

  We use hand signals to indicate that we are done talking and it will to someone else turn to continue.  We also can look at the other person as to say “what do you think about that”.

·         Accent ( using nonverbal cues to increase verbal messages )

For example :

If you speak louder and your eye widen, it will making the messages more clear.

·         Complement ( the amount of redundancy nonverbal communication adds to verbal messages )

For example :

If you say you are hungry you might rub your stomach.

·         Repeat ( same like complementing, but with a delay between verbal and nonverbal communication )

For example :

When someone asking you question, you say “don’t know”, then shaking head afterwards.

2.    Forming And Managing Impressions

( the ways you impression you want to communicate and you value to others )

·         To be liked ( showing a behavior to increase interpersonal attractiveness, such as smile, pat someone on the back, and shake hands warmly )

For example :

Your colleague are new on the job, you might help and show respect to others, and help the person feel positive about himself/ herself.

·         To be believed ( showing part of strategy would involve attempts to establish credibility, such as make confident eye contact, firm stance and adopt “open” gesture )

For example:

If you are establish that a good character, you might mention your fairness, honesty, and your commitment lasting values.

·         To avoid failure ( someone who avoid put effort in the job and keeping failure from hurting self-esteem  - might look sad, cover face with hands, and shake head )

·         To secure help ( someone who inability and ineffectiveness, it might want to be taken care and protected – indicating helplessness, use open gestures, puzzle look, and inept movements  )

For example :

“I can’t fix the drain and it make me crazy, because I totally don’t know anything about plumbing,” and it hope get help from others.

·         To hide faults ( not only presenting positive image, but to hide negative part – avoid eye contact, but both body language and facial expression might give it away )

For example : Censor your behavior such as speech. You avoid your normal slang to make your friends think more highly than you.

·         To be followed ( Knowledge, capability, right to lead by position )

For example : You will want to get people to see you as a leader. You might stress your previous experience, your broad knowledge, and your previous successes.

·         To confirm self-image and to communicate it to others ( Strengthen your positive perceptions of yourself )

For example : You tell jokes and try to make laugh people. This behavior confirms your own self – image and also lets others know that is who you are and how you want to be seen.

3.       Defining Relationships

( using nonverbal signals to communicate the nature of your relationship to another person and you and that person communicate nonverbally with each other’s. )

Nonverbal can communicate with various stages of relationships such as : -

a.       Employers

You give the impression to others like professional and smart such as wearing formal attire in work.

b.       Normal friends

You will talk more openly, smoothly and appear more casual look in front of them.

c.       Best friends

The one friend who is closest to you, you will scream and shout and easily express all your feeling to each other.

d.       First few dates with girlfriend / boyfriend

You behave so polite before getting close with each other, after that she/he also will scream and shout and let it all out.

4.       Structuring Conversation ( In conversation, waiting receive and give signals that you are ready to speak, listen and comment. )

For example : -

Verbal : Any question want to ask?

Non verbal : Shake your head in the direction to someone, that mean you are ready to give up your speaking and you are waiting others to give comment.

5.       Influencing and Deceiving

Non verbal gestures and communication can be influence others into your beliefs and ideas, deceiving as well.

6.       Express Emotions ( Nonverbal behaviors that communicate an internal emotional or affective state )

For example :

 3.       The Channels of Nonverbal Communication

a.       Body Communication

b.      Facial Communication

c.       Eye Communication

a.       Body Communication

i.            Body movement – Kinesics ( includes movement of the hands, head, feet and legs, posture,eye                                   movements and facial expressions – all these affect the message )

·         Emblems – cues with a direct verbal meaning in a given a culture (thumbs up sign )

·         Illustrators – gestures that complement verbal signals, measure distance with the space between our hands.

·         Affect displays – used to communicate emotions

·         Regulators – controls flow of communication

  ·         Adaptors – personal habit and self-expressions, normally done in private or under pressure

 

ii.            Body appearance

·         More attractive people are judged to be happier, more intelligent, friendly, stronger, and kinder and are thought to have better personality, better jobs, and greater marital capability.

·         Attractive people get more dates, higher grades, and higher tips.

Bad Hair Day??

b) I)   Facial Communication

·         Facial expressions are the key characteristics of nonverbal communication.

·         Your facial expression can communicate happiness, sadness, anger or fear.

ii.            Facial management

·         To hide certain emotions and to emphasize others.

·         Here are five facial management techniques : -

 

1.       Intensifying ( help you to exaggerate a feeling )

For example :

To exaggerate your surprise when friends throw you a party, so to make your friends feel better.

1.       Deintensifying

( Helps you to underplay a feeling. )

For example : When you take a good result, you need to cover up your own joy in the presence of a friend who didn’t get a good result.

2.       Neutralizing

( Helps you to hide your feelings )

For example : You are upset about your exam result, but you want to cover up and don’t want show out in front of your friends, act like nothing.

3.       Masking

( Helps you to replace the expression of the one emotion for the emotion you are really feeling )

For example : You actually disappointed about your exam result, but you need act happy in front of friends.

4.       Simulating

( Help you to express feeling that you don’t know )

For example : You keep smile when receiving your boyfriend or girlfriend messages.

3.       Eye Communication

·         A key characteristic of nonverbal communication, expresses much without using a single word.

·         In American culture, maintaining eye contact shows respect and indicates interest.

·         Eye contact also establish the nature of a relationship.

Functions of eye movements : -

·         To seek feedback

·         To signal openness in the communication channel ( look at you and waiting response )

·         To signal the nature of a relationship ( higher eye contact lower listening )

·         To change the psychological distance ( physical distance between you are others )

·         To helps others maintain privacy – eye avoidance ( avoid eye contact, help others keep their privacy )

 

·         To signal lack of interest through eye avoidance